Slytherin Robes
by hairymclary
Summary: Warrington asks Sirius Black out, and Sirius can't stop thinking about him... Then Sirius discovers he's not the only one with a preference for Slytherin boys... T for sexual references. Two-shot. SLASH Sirius BlackxWarrington
1. Chapter the first

Slytherin Robes

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Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't think J K Rowling is a Sirius Black/Warrington shipper. I am, ergo I am not J K R.**

**Warning: SLASH Sirius Black/Warrington. M for sexual references.**

**AN: Read and review! This was fun to write! There will be a sequel, eventually, where Sirius tries to find out the story behind Remus' last comment.

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I stared at the stupid, stupid Slytherin, and wondered- 

"_What _did you just say?"

Warrington flushed and glared at his feet. "Look," he muttered, "forget it. I didn't mean it, OK?"

"No," I replied, "seriously. What did you say?"

"Mnglungmmnn…" he mumbled.

"I mean it."

"I asked if you'd go out with me! Happy? Glad to have been of service!"

I turned to Remus, standing silently beside me. "Touchy," I muttered, as we strolled into the Great Hall.

I didn't say any more about it, but I'd noticed that Warrington had shown weakness – something a Slytherin should never do – in front of a Gryffindor – which was worse – and a blood-traitor. Hmm… Definitely something to think about…

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Three days later, and I'd decided that I'd thought about it enough, even if my brain didn't agree. It had produced hours of vivid films involving me, Warrington, and, frequently, a bed. Or sometimes just a distinct lack of anything that could be loosely termed 'clothing'. 

What was it about Warrington that I found so fascinating? He was a boy, a Slytherin and two years older than me – not that I'd been put off with older girls. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was just fascinating because he was male.

But I didn't watch James' every move with total fascination, and I didn't have unexplained urges to stick my tongue down Dumbledore's throat. Slytherin boys, then? But Slughorn didn't make me go hard, not even when his classroom stank of Amortentia. And who would want to fondle Snivellus' hair?

Older Slytherin boys gave me the same problem. I had no wish to stroke Goyle till he screamed at me to go on and just _do it_, and I definitely didn't want to lick honey off Lucius Malfoy.

But Warrington… Warrington was different.

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I went to look for him after class, and found him lurking near the Hospital Wing. He looked very shifty when I asked him what he was doing there, so I just said my piece and hoped that I'd be taken seriously. 

It was almost an exact re-run of the scene before.

"No, I mean, really?"

I nodded, suddenly unsure of what I'd done.

"But… where can we go?"

My mouth finally started working. "I know somewhere," I gabbled. "It's not far from here, and hardly anyone knows it exists. Come on, I can show you…"

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The Shrieking Shack was probably the most private place I could have found. It was spookily silent. I was used to it being filled with the pained howls of a werewolf, after all. But now, when the moon was new, every whisper was too loud, every footstep a thunderous echo. 

Warrington looked around. "It's alright," he admitted, grudgingly, and started removing his robes.

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He was in another room, thank Merlin, when Remus appeared. I heard the soft footsteps coming up the stairs and had just enough time to pull the bedcovers over my naked body before the door opened and Remus' head peered in. 

He looked around the room before spotting me trying to fall through the bed and onto the floor. Preferably through the floor, too, actually.

"Hello, Sirius."

"Mmm…" I mumbled, as though I could be Sirius, but that wasn't to say that I was.

"You've been… busy… in here."

"Mmm…" My tone didn't change.

His golden eyes took in the mess on the floor, including the very masculine Slytherin robes. "So… you like Slytherin boys too?"

I gaped at him. Who else did? Not James – he was besotted with Lily Evans – and Peter, though he would never admit it, fancied a Hufflepuff in the year below us. So it could only be Remus. Remus? Surely not.

I could see that Remus could see my thoughts, and was enjoying the view.

"I'll see you in the library in ten minutes, will I?" he asked, mildly.

I stared at his back as he left the room.


	2. Chapter the other

Slytherin Robes

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**Disclaimer: I think, therefore I am. Oh, sorry, I think, therefore I am not JKR. At least, I think I'm not. And I think the mystery Slytherin is there for Remus, therefore he- no, I- no, hang on. Ach, forget it. I'm not JKR. I'm _pretty_ sure about that.**

**Warning: SLASH see below. Remus Lupin/mystery male Slytherin.**

**You have been warned. No flames please.**

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I don't know what I said to Warrington, or whether I had to say anything – maybe he'd heard Remus' voice. I don't remember.

But ten minutes later, I was in the library, and so was Remus. We hid behind the Careers section – no-one ever went there if they could help it – and I leaned forward meaningfully.

"So, Reemie, my boy. Reveal all."

He stared at me. "I'm sorry?"

"You know what I mean," I replied impatiently. "Slytherin boys. Which one is it?"

A mysterious smile did its best to infuriate me.

"Sorry, Sirius. That's for me to know..."

… _And me to find out,_ I thought.

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I'm sure Remus knew fine well why I followed him everywhere for the next week, although he was careful not to mention it. I watched him carefully in classes, too, and every time he glanced in my direction I would grin at him, as if to say, _'You know you really want to tell me. You do really. I know you do. There, see, of course you do. Go on... go on, tell me...'_ But he'd just give me that vague smile, and look away. Whenever I caught him in private, I'd try to wheedle it out of him, with absolutely no success whatsoever. Peter and James seemed to watch us quite warily, but I thought nothing of it.

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I only knew I had anything to worry about when Peter took me aside in the Gryffindor common room and asked me if there was anything going on between me and Remus. Me and Remus?!?

"_Me and Remus?"_

Peter nodded.

"No, you're alright, Peter. He's not my type." And just to reassure him, I kissed Marthindra Vectron – who just happened to be passing – and was about to ask her out before I remembered that I was meeting Warrington that night.

Peter nodded again, but didn't look very convinced, weirdly.

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The only thing that was really annoying me about Remus was that he had prefect duties, which I couldn't follow him to, and I'm pretty sure he was... well, up to no good.

And that meant he had to be... _you know_... with a Slytherin prefect. Which mean it was Mulcahy or Plumstead or Hillier he was – _you-know-_ing with.

How could he?

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"Remus,_ how could you?"_

Remus stopped and turned round just in front of a secret passage – one of his favourites, actually – from near the library to the kitchens.

Anyway, Remus stopped and turned round. "What?"

"Your Slytherin boy!"

His confusion was replaced by a cautious expression. "Yes?"

"It's horrible! At least Warrington like Quidditch! I mean, you're..._ you-know-_ing with a complete _geek!_ I wouldn't mind so much if it was someone normal, but messing about with a twisted suck-up like _Snivellus?"_

Snivellus had appeared out of the passage and was looking at Remus with impatience.

Remus smiled at him – _smiled!_ At _Snivellus! _"I'll be with you in a moment, Severus."

My face went grey. I felt sick. Remus and _Snivellus! "Euch!"_

And it was so much worse, because Snivellus had the _audacity_ to wear the same robes as Warrington, and soon they'd be on the floor, discarded somewhere, like Warrington's had been just the night before. And I used that secret passage! I didn't want it to be full of Snivellus'... stuff...

_Okay, Sirius, enough. Think about something else. Strawberries! Think about strawberries..._

Remus patted my shoulder and grinned at me. "He's not as bad as you think. You'll soon get used to it."

And with another friendly grin, he and Snivellus were gone. _Together._

"Soon," I echoed, feeling horribly empty. My friend had gone off with my worst enemy and I had to get used to it. And soon. It was _horrible!_

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**AN: Yes, Snape does hate Remus in PoA, but have you ever been through a really brutal break-up? Doesn't it sound at least vaguely plausible?**

**Now go on... you know you want to review... You know you really want to. You do really. I know you do. There, see, of course you do. Go on... go on, press that little button...**


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